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Navigating life after losing my husband.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

It's no secret

Women don't keep secrets very well.  Like that's a secret.

Women might keep their friends' secrets, but they really suck at keeping their own secrets. Why do I know this? Because when I have something about myself that I want kept secret, I tell my 19 closest girlfriends. But only after I've vowed them to secrecy.

I am not the only woman who does this.  It's not fair, really. How come you get to tell your secret, but no one else can? 

Sometimes friends just tell you too many things.  It's too hard to keep track of what you can tell and what you can't.

One of my friends does this to me all the time. "I have something to tell you. But you can't ever tell anyone. Ever. Not even Dave. Will you promise?" So, I promise. I won't tell anyone. Ever. But then I get paranoid. My memory's not all that good. Eventually I could forget the thing was a secret and will tell someone, maybe not today or next month, but like a year from now.

And that next week, I'll hear a group of ladies talking about the very thing I was supposed to keep a secret. I ask them where they heard this. They heard it from my friend who told me not to tell anyone.

Now when she tells me she's going to tell me something but I can't tell anyone, I hold up my hand and say, "Are you sure you want to tell me? I can't keep secrets."  Invariably, she'll tell me.

It's not that I can't keep a secret. I can. My best friends have shared some things I will take to my grave.  And they know a few things about me I know they will keep forever. But that's different. Those are things that you know are just too important to ever share. Plus, we have dirt on one another.

Husbands are the safe bet
If you really need to tell a secret, tell your husband. Guys don't talk like women do. They are the safest bet.  When I tell my husband not to tell anyone, he'll look at me like I'm crazy. "Why would I want to tell anyone?" And he's serious. It's one of the things I love most about him.

6 comments:

  1. Cracked me up again....oh the mars/venus thing! For a taste of how my husband and I think, have a look http://marquesa34.blogspot.com/2011/01/oh-things-you-think.html
    this was from the blog I wrote last winter as we sailed down the ICW to spend the winter in the Florida Keys. I'll be blogging again in just 16 days...heading south for the winter- hooray!

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  2. Ya gotta love that guys are wired differently. Thank God.

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  3. Jac, i STILL promise i won't tell . . . !!

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  4. Ha, ha, Tracie.... It would be best to remain a secret, since I don't remember what it was!

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