Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Jacked up on coffee


I've had a love affair with coffee ever since college. When I was a sleep-deprived nursing mother, I survived on coffee, lots and lots of coffee. I got my kids addicted early.

It's my only bad vice. Except I don't think it's so bad. The pros outweigh any cons I think.

PROS:
  1. It's something to get you out of bed in the morning. Sometimes it's the only thing.
  2. It gives you a caffeine jolt, which is kind of fun. After a strong cup of joe, I feel manic, excited, and awake. For like 15 minutes. Then I crash and am groggy and sloth-like until my next fix. I guess that should be on the con list.
  3. You get to go out for coffee with friends. Sorry, but going out for tea, or going out for water, just doesn't have the same sound or draw. Maybe going out for drinks does, but I usually don't drink nor do my friends, so we'd be going out for water at a bar.
  4. The whip cream. I drink my coffee black unless I'm going to Starbucks. And then I savor the taste of good, tongue-burning espresso mixed with a dollop of whip. Lately I've been asking for a double shot of whip cream. I'd really like to order all whip with one shot of espresso. But I know that's worse than ordering skim milk in a latte with whip cream (which is what I do when I order a latte).
  5. I like it.
CONS:

  1. Stained teeth. Solution: buy Crest whitener strips.
  2. Spills. I've tipped over cups on car upholstery, my clothes, tablecloths, homework, the church carpet, and all over library books. For the latter I press the pages out the best that I can. The pages will be pasted together and a little crunchy, but usually the print is still legible. I say nothing to the librarian. I haven't been fined yet. I think the librarian drinks coffee herself so she understands.
  3. Bad breath. I fix this with gum. I don't really like chewing gum because I start chomping it like a cow chewing its cud. So I pop in a piece, chew it for a minute, and then spit it out.
  4. Expense. It's not bad if you buy coffee in a can. There used to be five pounds in the can. But then coffee producers started putting less and less in each can figuring consumers wouldn't notice. Now the weight is measured in grams. And since Americans have never actually mastered the metric system, who knows how much is actually in the can. So, we're not really getting much coffee for the ten bucks we pay for the can. But it's still cheaper than Starbucks. If you do Starbucks (Four Bucks, now maybe Five Bucks) every day, your coffee is as expensive as a pack-a-day cigarette habit. And, if you add the $1.27 for the pack of gum needed to cover up the bad coffee breath, it's actually more than a cigarette habit.
  5. Shakiness. Now this is bad on my job which involves doing an invasive procedure with a needle. When my hand is shaking while I'm holding a sharp instrument, it makes people nervous.
So, there's my list. It's a tie. If you want to argue about it being bad, we can talk about it over coffee.

6 comments:

  1. You're funny. Also, you can have my blood.

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  2. Anna, you need to become a follower or I'll feel bad. You're funny too. Story telling runs in the family.

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  3. Actually coffee, containing antioxidents, would be good for one. Ya think?
    It's the whipped cream. You know... you will have to run an extra mile for the double whipped cream. Ah hah! This is the secret to training for the Boston Marathon. Got it.
    Let's do coffee soon.

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  4. See, doesn't that just sound wonderful..."Let's do coffee soon"? I really feel bad for people who don't drink coffee.

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  5. I can see why sis you would be shaky from your coffee-it's strong enough!:) But, I agree, there are more pros than cons to drinking it! It's a comfort and stress-reliever for me. lol

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  6. Jacci - I just started reading your blog...great fun! I love coffee too and if you need a friend to have coffee with, give me a call!

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