Saturday, June 23, 2012

Muffin tops and bubble cleavage

My middle-aged crisis came to an end with a whimper and a sigh.  I'm glad I'm finally over it. I'm getting older. So what? I'm not exactly thrilled with the wrinkles, age spots, and everything else that's going south, but I'm okay with it. It's the circle of life.

But now I have nothing. What can I blog about? Grandchildren? I don't have any. Although we do have a granddog who is adorable. But writing about a dog is just like showing too many grandchildren pictures. People's eyes tend to glaze over after a couple of hours. Maybe I could have a blog called The Geriatric Adventures. But I'm not quite yet to that stage either.

But I am going to have to start another blog. I don't have any other hobbies.

I think I'll keep this one but just change its title. It took me too long to bribe 18 people to sign up as followers. My sidebar shows 17 but there is another one who signed up as anonymous. (Who are you, by the way?)  And I did have a creepy guy from Germany that I had to block. I did a little investigation and his Facebook timeline picture showed decomposed bodies swept up on a shore. Disturbing, to say the least.

I know I have more followers who read my blog, but none who officially want to come forward. Why is that?

Anyway, I was lying in bed this morning thinking about what I was going to wear to the family reunion today. And, I just had to share. So, the retirement of my blog lasted for just one week.

I really need summer tops. All I have in the closet right now are the size of hankies. I had been buying my clothes at Gap. Everything they sell there is 100 percent cotton. I'm really bad about forgetting that fact when I throw them in the dryer.

So I went to buy some shirts yesterday. It wasn't a good experience. If you've shopped recently, you may have noticed that the shirts in style right now are skinny, clingy, threadbare, and have scooped-out bust lines. Unless you're built like an ironing board with two raisins for breasts, you're going to look really bad.

For one, these shirts cling and accentuate the fluff around your midsection and any back fat you may have. They are so tight that people see that your bra has three prongs. Worse, though, is the four inches of cleavage showing.  The fact that cleavage is four inches says something about middle-aged cleave. It's long. Plus, it gets lopsided and you have to do a lot of adjusting. Not at all attractive.

Why in the world are these shirts popular right now? Even teenage girls look bad in them.  I've been noticing some serious muffin tops and breast spillage out there. Good grief. I'm not a guy, but I have a hard time not staring. Where do you look? I feel sorry for hormonal teenage boys. But then there are so many breasts exposed that maybe they've become desensitized. Bare breasts are no longer a novelty.

True, you can wear a camie under the top. But the camies I've found all have scooped necklines too and just make your middle section look fluffier.

Is there is such a thing as clothes that are "youthfully mature," I'd like to find them. I'm open to suggestions. Meanwhile, I'm going to the reunion today. I hope noone notices I'm wearing a hankie.


  1. i still haven't been able to ditch the tshirt and jeans look. maybe this is why . . .. !!!

    1. Ha, ha. Stick with what's safe, Tracie.

  2. Well - you do have more followers than you realize. Janine and Cheryl both read your posts and I typically do too. And on the clothing part- I hear you on clothes not fitting right. I've always been plus sized and I finally found clothes that fit right and now that I"m losing weight. NOTHING fits right. But as far as clothing goes - Have you ever tried Maurices? They have a large variety of styles, from what you're talking about. To more conservative looks shall we say... Or at least it was that way the last time I was there. It's been a while since I've gone shopping. Moving and starting a new business are definitely causing me to live EXTREMELY frugally.

    1. Good for you, Erika, on losing weight. Oregon must be treating you right. (Your dad mentioned you at the reunion today, of course.) Funny. That's where I was shopping yesterday...Maurice's. I like their jeans. But the tops are the ones I'm talking about. I think the plus size had some that were better. But I don't want to have to gain my weight back just so that I can wear them.

      Thanks for the comments on the followers. A lot of people tell me they enjoy the blog. It's just that having official followers is proof that somebody is actually reading the blog. God bless 'em.